


Promise You Still Love Me

by narryy



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), EXO (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27302443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narryy/pseuds/narryy
Summary: TW: themes of depression and suicide attempt - please don't proceed if you're uncomfortable!Jongin and Kyungsoo's relationship gets threatened to be revealed by Dispatch so SM steps in and puts Jongin into a fake relationship with Jennie who gets caught with Joohyun.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Jennie Kim, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Jongdae | Chen's Wife
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Promise You Still Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> TW: themes of depression and suicide attempt - please don't proceed if you're uncomfortable!

_October 2018_

“It’s a beautiful view, isn’t it?” Jennie asks Jongin, whilst looking at the Eiffel Tower from the restaurant.

“Yeah,” he sighs, wishing he was with Kyungsoo instead. Jennie’s great company but he would really rather spend his time with the doe-eyed boy. He wished he could take Kyungsoo to those cheesy tourist attractions, kiss him under the stars and finally make love to him in their hotel room. He turned to face Jennie to see her have an equally wistful face.  
  
“Do you miss her?” he asks.  
  
“Of course…no offence but I really want to be with her right now, at this moment.”  
  
Jongin smiled bitterly, “None taken.”  
  
_September 2018_  
  
A feeling of dread washed over Kyungsoo and Jongin as they entered Lee Soo Man’s office. They somewhat knew what was going to happen but were also hoping that it wasn’t _that_. They take a seat opposite the CEO at the conference table and braced themselves for the news.  
  
“I think you both know why you’re here,” the CEO started, as he pushed a picture towards the couple which was of them kissing in a park late at night. “I told you that you both could have this relationship if you remained discreet about it. This is not discreet. If Dispatch was able to find you doing this, then it’s obvious both of you weren’t taking precautions.”  
  
The two hung their head in shame as the CEO continued, “Dispatch has given me an ultimatum: either to out your relationship or to put one of you in a relationship with another idol. Which leads me to say that Jongin, you’re going to be in a relationship with Jennie from Blackpink.”  
  
“Why Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked, upset and scared.  
  
“At the moment, Jennie’s _the_ idol and putting her with Jongin would raise the company’s stocks. Not only that, she too was caught with Irene pretty recently. Kyungsoo, think of it this way. I’m only protecting the both of you from the public’s abuse as well as the rest of EXO. I’m not saying that the two of you would have to break up - I’m just seeing this as an opportunity to increase the company’s revenue.”  
  
Deep down, Kyungsoo and Jongin knew that the CEO was right. They weren’t ready to receive the hate or break up with each other. “How long would I have to date her for?” Jongin asked.  
  
“Starting in October. Jennie is going to attend Chanel’s show at Paris Fashion Week, while Jongin, you will be attending Gucci’s show. I think one or two dates would suffice. Your manager will give you more details about this. In the meantime, I suggest that both of you should keep your dates to your apartment until February at least.”  
  
With that Kyungsoo and Jongin left the office and made their way home. As Jongin drove, he looked over to Kyungsoo who was crying silent tears. He knew how much this would hurt him, especially after what happened with Soojung back in 2016. At the time, Lee Soo Man didn’t know about their relationship and had pushed Jongin into the ‘dating scandal’ with the f(x) member. It was only in 2017 that Jongin told the CEO that he couldn’t take it anymore because Kyungsoo had become depressed from it all.  
  
It was a dark time. Kyungsoo stopped eating, stopped showering, stopped doing anything all together. He couldn’t even bring himself to touch Jongin. It hurt both of them so much but Kyungsoo couldn’t help but always think about how Soojung’s lips had also touched Jongin’s, albeit just for the photos. It was then Jongin knew he had to do something before Kyungsoo’s condition worsened.  
  
Snapping out of his reverie, he reached over to hold Kyungsoo’s hand and squeezed it.  
  
“We’ll be all right you know? Don’t worry, I won’t do anything with her and I doubt she’ll do anything to me. I’m sure Jennie and Joohyunnie are feeling the same way as us,” Jongin said.  
  
Kyungsoo sniffed, “I suppose you’re right. Nini, I’ll promise to be stronger this time round. I won’t let _it_ happen again.”  
  
“Thank you hyung, but if you really can’t take it, we’ll do something about it okay?” Jongin reassured him as he held Kyungsoo’s hand tighter. At least they didn’t have to break up.  
  
_31 December 2018_  
  
Jongin knew that the next morning, everyone would receive the news that he was dating Jennie. He thought back to the last month where he had picked Jennie up for a late night walk, knowing it was all staged. He could see Dispatch photographers tailing him from his peripheral vision, sighing as that was all he could do. Being with Jennie wasn’t as bad as he had initially thought. Perhaps it’s the fact that he knew she was pining for Joohyun, whose schedule was packed with comebacks and performances, no doubt in order to stop seeing Jennie as often. During their ‘dates’, they talked about how they saw their future with their respective partners, how their companies were so money-minded, their childhoods and again, their partners.  
  
While Jongin found Jennie to be a pretty good companion, Kyungsoo, despite his promise, couldn’t help but feel so insecure again. He had to keep telling himself that they were on fake dates and that Jennie didn’t have the slightest interest in Jongin. But when he thought about them together, he could see how they were the ‘it’ couple. They were both so attractive and just, so meant for each other. However, Kyungsoo had to show Jongin he was strong. He didn’t want to make it harder than it already was.  
  
Kyungsoo’s thoughts were interrupted when Jongin came over to him in the dressing room. They were preparing for Gayo Daejun and the tension in the room was heightened. All of the members knew what was going on and they couldn’t help but feel nervous for the couple.  
  
Jongin sat on the seat next to Kyungsoo and pulled him over onto his lap. The shorter of the two cuddled his face onto Jongin’s bare chest that was hardly covered by his blazer, and took in his comforting scent. In that moment, everything felt perfect. He was transported to their bedroom in their shared apartment. Both of them cuddling on a Sunday morning, surrounded by clean, white sheets as the sun peeked through their curtains. Unfortunately, it was cut short when their loud and endearing juniors entered the room.  
  
“What up bitches??” Yerim greeted as everyone in the room lit up. She really was a happy virus. The sombre mood was lifted and everyone was catching up with their sister group. Kyungsoo lifted up his head from Jongin’s chest and couldn’t help but smile. He scanned the room looking for a specific noona and went over to her. He hugged her tightly knowing that she would be going through the same thing the next day.  
  
“Are you okay, Kyungsoo-yah?” Joohyun asked as she took in his appearance. Even with the heavy make-up, you could still see his dark eye-bags which indicated the lack of sleep he experienced over the last week. He was thinner than the last time she met him several months ago and that worried her.  
  
“I’m holding up noona. I really want to get to February. I’m just tired of having to see Jongin leave the apartment to meet someone else ‘romantically’. I’m trying so hard to be strong but it just gets more difficult as time passes,” he poured his heart to her as she patted his back, trying to soothe him. He tried his hardest not to cry, just so he wouldn’t ruin the make-up but that didn’t stop his eyes from turning red. They were huddled in a corner just so that they wouldn’t attract anyone’s attention or bring the mood down.  
  
“I know it’s hard Soo, it’s really hard. But just think about it, there’s only about a month to go. After this you’ll truly have him to yourself,” she comforted him and signalled over to Jongin to take over from her. She knows that Kyungsoo needs him more than he needs her.  
  
Jongin silently thanked Joohyun as he once again, gathered Kyungsoo into his arms. He rubbed his nose into his hair and swayed him gently from side to side. That seemed to usually calm him down when he’s worked up and upset.  
  
“We’ll be all right, baby. Don’t worry. I love you so much, you know that?”  
  
“I love you too Jongin-ah. I really do.”  
  
_15 January 2019_  
  
“I’m just so sick and tired of all this! I have a feeling your relationship is going to keep going for God know’s how long! Have you seen how many people are supporting this? Do you know what this means?? The company is definitely going to make you continue dating her!” Kyungsoo cried out to Jongin who was equally as angry as he was.  
  
After having taken a break from social media, he had logged into his secret Twitter account to have a look at what was going on. He was soon welcomed with edits and pictures of Jennie and Jongin. People were pointing out hints that were given in the earlier months of the ‘relationship’. What set him off the most was the video of Jongin and Jennie at an encore stage. He hadn’t noticed it at the time but as he watched the clip of Jongin pointing to Jennie as Mino sang ‘my fiancé’, he felt a chill go through his spine. Did Jongin really mean that? Why would he do that one extra thing if all this was fake?  
  
“Kyungsoo, just stop it will you? I just thought it would be a nice touch for fan service. I mean I have to make this whole thing believable, don’t you think? God, you’re so stupid sometimes!”  
  
“A ‘nice touch’?? It looks to me as if you were taking advantage of the whole situation, weren’t you? Did you kiss her? Did you do more than just hold hands? Tell me. Did you take this as an opportunity to cheat on me?”  
  
“Listen to yourself! What are you even talking about? Why the hell would I cheat on you with someone whom I clearly don’t love? Kyungsoo, you’re the only one in my life. Isn’t me being in this whole fake thing already enough to show you that I want to protect you? You know what, fuck this. I’m leaving. I’m going back to my sister’s place and until you get to your senses, I’m not coming back.” With a tone of finality, Jongin swiftly packs a duffle bag and leaves. Kyungsoo is left in a state of shock as it happens, not being able to bring himself to stop Jongin.  
  
Only at the slamming of the door, he calls Jongin’s name out softly. _I’ve fucked up again, haven’t I?_ Kyungsoo thinks to himself as he sinks to the floor, tears falling.  
  
_22 January 2019_  
  
A whole week since the fight went by and Kyungsoo hasn’t heard from Jongin since. He’s called him so many times, leaving so many voicemails but they weren’t enough to bring Jongin home. He stopped eating all together, he stopped showering, he cut himself off from the rest of the group. It’s happening again. No one’s come up to check on him so why should he care? He continued to torture himself by looking at pictures of the ‘it’ couple, reading baseless theories, somehow convincing himself that they actually were in love. His breaths started to get shorter and shorter and without even realising he begins sobbing again.  
  
_No one loves me._ _No one has and no one will._  
  
_Is it even worth it to live anymore?_  
  
_Should I just leave?_  
  
_Jongin hates me. That’s a good enough reason to just go._  
  
_I’m so worthless. I’m ugly. I’m talentless. Do I even belong here?_  
  
Unconsciously, his feet bring him to the bathroom. He runs a bath and enters it once it became full. He doesn’t bother to take his clothes off. He slowly sinks into the water, unable to hear the opening of the front door.  
  
_In and out. In and out._  
  
His mind becomes hazy, water slowly fills his lungs and he slips into a deep sleep. The last thing he hears is his name.  
  
_The same day…_  
  
Jongin paced back and forth in front of Kyungsoo’s hospital room, waiting for an update. Words couldn’t describe his guilt, sadness and anger. He kept thinking to himself, _why was I so immature to walk out on him? How could I have done this to him? How could I have just left him alone in such a fragile state?_ The other members could only watch him warily from the side. They didn’t know how to calm him down.  
  
Earlier that day, Jongin decided that he had had enough of hearing Kyungsoo’s heartbreaking voice in his voicemails. He knew that he shouldn’t have left but he was so angry at the lack of trust from Kyungsoo’s side. _But how could I blame Soo? Imagine seeing him with another person, you’d get hurt Jongin._ He had felt terrible and decided to pack his bags once again to return to Kyungsoo.  
  
And he was almost too late. If he hadn’t gone home, God knows what would have happened to Kyungsoo. His members told him that while they tried to reach for Kyungsoo, they also wanted to give him space. But too much space can cause something worse to happen - a lesson they now know.  
  
After two hours of waiting, the doctor stepped out and asked for a _Mr. Kim Jongin? Kyungsoo’s awake and he’s asking for you._  
  
Jongin rushes into the room and he _hears_ his own heart shatter when he looks at the state of Kyungsoo. So thin, too thin. The eye-bags, the pale skin, the overall sadness surrounding him. A wave of guilt comes over Jongin as he realises that he practically killed Kyungsoo.  
  
“Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo rasps out.  
  
“Baby,” Jongin strides over to his side, “baby, I’m so sorry. Sorry doesn’t even express how guilty I am. I’m so sorry I did that to you. I wanted to hurt you like how you hurt me but I shouldn’t have taken it too far. I should’ve just stayed by your side despite everything. I should’ve -" Jongin’s voice breaks as he begins to cry. He never cries often. He tries to be the stronger one in the relationship but the thought of losing Kyungsoo made him realise his selfishness and ingrate.  
  
“Jonginnie, it’s okay. It’s my fault. I’m too weak. I’m sorry I troubled you like this,” Kyungsoo strokes Jongin’s cheek with a shaking hand. Kyungsoo just knows it’s his fault for making everyone worried.   
  
“No, it’s not okay,” Jongin kisses Kyungsoo’s hand, “None of this is your fault. It’s all mine. It can be everyone else's in society, but it’s never your fault. I’m not going to leave your side _ever_. If you want us to leave the group, leave Korea, you only have to tell me. I don’t care about my career, I would do anything for you to be happy. We can move away somewhere else, somewhere quiet. We’ll still be friends with the group but we’ll do our own thing. Just you and me.”  
  
“Nini,” Kyungsoo giggles weakly, despite the situation they were in, “don’t be ridiculous. I want us to stay here with our friends and family. At least until we’re old enough to leave this part of our lives behind. Maybe some day but not now.”  
  
“Well Kyungsoo, I promise you, once we retire, we’re getting the hell out of here and we’ll go wherever you want to go. I don’t care, as long as you’re mine. _I love you_.”  
  
Kyungsoo could only look at Jongin fondly. He feels himself become better just with Jongin’s presence. He knows he’s loved now. He knows he can trust Jongin.  
  
Jongin leans forward to kiss Kyungsoo on the lips tenderly. He misses the taste of his lips and his vanilla smell. Jongin doesn’t know how he went a whole week without seeing him.  
  
“Just a little bit more baby. We’re almost done with all this. After 31 January, it’s only Jongin and Kyungsoo; Jennie and Joohyun.”  
  
“And I can’t wait till it’s the two of us again.”  
  
_15 years later…_  
  
“Congratulations my bitches!” Yerim yelled.  
  
Finally, Jongin and Kyungsoo could finally get married. They left SM a few years ago after EXO’s mutual disbandment but always kept in touch with the rest of the gang. Although they still kept their relationship under wraps, fans somehow found out about them after seeing them together in France, where they have now been working and residing at for the last two years; Jongin as a choreographer and Kyungsoo as a freelance music producer as well as a singer. However, they didn’t really care anymore. All they needed was each other.  
  
Finally at the age of thirty-nine and forty, they got married in a garden somewhere in Bourgogne, inviting their closest friends, some of them being EXO and Red Velvet members, as well as family. Jongin had cried at the altar as he watched Kyungsoo walk down the aisle in a white suit, which complemented the former’s black suit. Kyungsoo was the Yang to Jongin’s Yin. They were finally _complete_.  
  
“Thank you Yerim-ah,” Kyungsoo says, not quite believing that the little girl he used to train with was now 34 years old.  
  
“I’m so happy for you guys, you’ve finally found your happiness,” Joohyun says sweetly, with Jennie by her side. What happened to them is another story to tell.  
  
“Well, I’ve always been with my happiness, just wasn’t able to show him all the time,” Jongin replied while gazing lovingly at Kyungsoo. Even after 15 years, Kyungsoo looked as if he never aged a day.  
  
“And if you ever want kids, you can always just take one of mine,” a tired looking Jongdae said all while carrying his baby, holding his daughter’s hand with his wife who was talking to their eldest daughter.  
  
Everyone laughed at Jongdae’s statement, all of them feeling a peace that they weren’t able to experience since their childhood days. Everything was finally _perfect_.  
  
_Epilogue_  
  
“So when’s you’re turn?” Seulgi asked Joohyun and Jennie at their designated table.  
  
Looking at each other, they revealed, “pretty soon,” as they showed off their engagement rings to the other four Red Velvet members. Joohyun quickly shot them a look, “Don’t say anything, today’s Kyungsoo and Jongin’s day!”  
  
“Our lips are sealed,” Seulgi, Sooyoung and Seungwan promised.  
  
“Hey guys, guess what! We’re having another wedding soon!” Yerim announced to everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! i'm back after more than two years and so much has happened really. i just wanted to say that this fic has no intention of debunking jenkai's relationship or anything, i just had this idea recently and wanted to put this into words - it's just fiction, so please don't come at me if it seems i'm a jenkai-anti (if anything, i really shipped them!). in fact, i will always support exo as well as red velvet and bp in whatever they want to do with their life as long as it doesn't harm others! 
> 
> how have all of you been? work is getting tougher and tougher for me and i really miss exo and red velvet!! especially junmyeon (my bias!) since he's going to serve until 2022 TT although i heard that rv are gonna come back in december/january so i'm really looking forward to that ~
> 
> also i'm probably very late to the party but i hope all of you guys are supporting jongdae, his wife and his daughter - they need all your love and it makes me sad to see exo-ls just drop him. please show him all your love and support by streaming 'hello'!
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy this fic - not really my thing to do angst but i did want to give it a try! also let me know if you'd like a jennie/irene fic ;)
> 
> ALSO - i know that jenkai didn't go to paris at the same time but shhsfsdhfsdhfdsj it's just for the plot


End file.
